Life In Our World

It's been way way way too long since I've done a blog and so I figured I would fill you all in on what's happened in our lives since last year. So, for an update on a previous post, Caleb's story, Caleb was born on September 17th just six days before my birthday. What a gift I received. We were so blessed to have him placed in our arms the minute he was born. He has known no one but us as his parents, and we are so thankful to the Lord for that. He was 7lbs 15.4ozs and showed us he has VERY healthy lungs. One thing we have never experienced with him is he has never had a baby cry...I'll leave that to your imagination lol. But I've never had to worry about not hearing him if he wakes or something is wrong. He has taken our lives into a complete 360, but it is definitely for the better. We have cried, laughed, been frustrated, excited, but mostly felt more love than I could have ever imagined. He had HORRIBLE colic for a good 4 1/2 months and has struggled with his digestive system since he was born, leaving us with a baby who is constantly in an uncomfortable state. But we have recently finally met with a GI doctor who has really helped us to get him on the right track. The last six months of his life was very hard for us as parents, because we had tried everything in our power to help him, and nothing was working. Praise the Lord he is now on his way to feeling so much better. We're only into a couple days, but WOW....what a different baby I have. I'm so thrilled that he is not in pain and discomfort anymore. As a mom, you feel horrible watching your baby struggle and you can't do anything that works, and it makes you a bit crazy.

He's getting big...weighing in at 18lbs 4ozs. He is now 27in long. His height and weight are in the 50th percentile. Everyone thinks he is huge, but he is perfectly normal. He is solid and his mama is getting a great workout with the rough plays we have. My arms have had some long lasting conversations with me at the end of the day, but I don't care, he's going to remember me playing with him and loving on him and that's what is super important to me. He is finally allowed to eat foods with the approval of the GI doc and he LOVES it! He gets so excited that I'm not sure if I get more on his face or in his mouth. lol. He is sitting up on his own now but forgets that shooting his legs out means he goes flat onto his back bumping is head. He enjoys his jump-o-roo. We're having to teach him to entertain himself every now and then, cause I do need to eat and do laundry without a human attached to my hip...so far he's doing okay, but baby steps right? :D

Since we have been to the GI doc, he is now falling asleep on his own when we put him in his crib and close the door....this is AMAZING for mama!!! I'm really not sure what to do with myself actually. We're still working on longer naps as he really only wants a power nap and I need more time than that lol....but again, baby steps. He loves his bath time and splashes all over the place. He used to scream when I took him out now he just gives me a look...like, "Really mom, I so wasn't done in there."

He definitely has a strong will and that keeps me busy all day long. He is our kid through and through. They say you have one just like you...well...he SO is! I'm praying the next baby is a bit more relaxed lol. I would love to have a little girl. He would be the BEST big brother. But that will have to totally be the Lord. Can't believe I'm even thinking of having another! Well....we'll see. ;)

At any rate...we are enjoying everything about him and can't wait till he starts talking and dancing and really developing his own personality and likes and dislikes. I'm excited to see him grow but hate seeing him grow out of 'babyhood'. Thanks to those who have encouraged, loved and prayed for us and for our son. May God truly bless you. I'll post a few pictures so you can see how good the Lord is. We love you all!

The Crosley Family!

All smiles for his four month shoot. He was cracking up at me. :)

Sitting in the car waiting to pick daddy up at work. Six months old.

Caleb's Story

Yes, yes, I know once again, it's been way too long since posting, not that I think anyone really reads these, but none the less, it helps me to process what's going on in this noggin of mine, which ends up being a comedy release to viewers. But this post holds a whole new meaning. As most of you know, Jeff and I have been trying to have a family for eight years. With no success, we have been trying to stay positive, relying on God to give us strength and trust and belief in Him. So that was when we started the foster process, thinking it would be great to provide a home for children who need one, a home of love, nurturing and Jesus. When we were denied that opportunity, we were just heartbroken. Needless to say, I was done with the heart break and decided to just sink myself into my crocheting. This has been very beneficial to me, not just in the fact that it's keeping me busy, but that people love what I'm making and want to buy them. Seeing a smile on others faces is truly priceless. Just yesterday my girlfriends daughter wanted a beanie and scarf that I made matching, and she looked so cute in them, she wanted to wear them all day. It was in the upper 80's! LOL! But she rocked them like no other, and it just warmed my heart that something so little could make her smile.

So...a little over a month ago, we received a phone call from a friend of ours from church about a young girl who was 7 months pregnant and did not want to keep her baby. We were not given much details, but decided that we would first start off by diligently praying for her, baby and potential father. We did not want to get our hopes up, knowing that there was a very large chance that nothing would come of it. In the process of about 2 1/2 weeks, we were preparing for a move, and so caught up in that and life, we just continued to pray for birth mom, baby and father. It was so freeing that we had the heart to just pray. God really gave me a heart that just wanted to serve Him and be on my knees with Him everyday. Once moved into our new, bigger, apartment, we got a phone call that will forever change my life. The birth mom wanted to meet with me! Wow! Did I hear that correctly?? Meet with me? So this was amazing, and definitely was going to need a mass of prayer warriors to keep me from fumbling all over the place.

We decided to call parents and let them know what was taking place and to just be in prayer for all involved. I met with the birth mom on July 26th, 2010. I was so nervous, I thought I was going to puke! But after meeting with her, my heart just longed to minister to her and show her the love of God. She wasn't just some teen who got pregnant, no, she was a young 26 year old who knew that the life she had, was not one in which she felt would benefit any child. She wants the best for this baby, and finding someone who could provide that, was what she sought. I can not express the honor, respect and admiration I have for her. After our hour long meeting she let me know that before she gave me my final "yes" that she wanted to meet Jeff. Wow, was this really happening!? So we made a meeting for the following week and meet up with her and her boyfriend. Seeing her a second time was awesome. We had already formed a bond that will forever be cherished. Upon sitting and chatting with her and her boyfriend, she expressed to us that she knew from the first time she met me that we were the ones, that she had felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders, and knew she was making the perfect decision. We were in awe! Did we just find out we were going to be parents? In a little over a month? To a baby boy? YES, WE DID!!!! So, this began a frenzy of appointments, letters, lawyers, home studies, fingerprints, phone calls and baby stuff! These past two weeks have changed my life in ways I can not express. We are delighted to be expecting a son in September. We can not wait to hold his little body in our hands and look into his sweet eyes, and tell him how much Jesus loves him.

For so long our desire has been to have a family, and God's Word tells us that He will give us the desires of our hearts. We grew weary these last 8 years, but have trudged forward, expecting that God would never fail us. We know that this is not the end yet, but are excited to have this opportunity to see our desire come to completion. So in our excitement we want to take you along with us on our journey, praying and laughing and crying, as we learn how to become parents to our own children.

A tid bit of info, I was asked by the birth mom if I wanted to join her at her 36 week ultrasound appointment the 24th of August. I was honored she would ask, and she was happy to know that I wanted to go. This is also Jeff's birthday! Happy birthday daddy! I can not wait! I'm so excited to see him and hear his heart beat. What joy that will bring me.

So we thank you for all your support and prayers as we enter into this wonderful journey of parenthood and look forward to blowing up our camera with LOTS of pictures to share! :D We love you all, who have diligently prayed for us. And will never be able to verbalize our greatest thanks to you.

Marisa, Jeff and baby Caleb Scott

Independent what???....

I know it's been quite a while since blogging, but hey what can I say...ok nothing, I can't say anything. Here's the good news, I'm blogging now and so that counts, right? So a lot has happened in the past few months. I will try to catch you all up with out making it too boring. Here's just a little taste of it...Jeff's new job, trip to California, new dog, Amway and transit system.

So we'll start with Jeff's new job. He is currently working at Toyota of Seattle. Great job, but hates the drive to work. Technically it's only about 35 mins from our home, but with morning rush hour traffic it takes him a good hour or more to get there. Eeekkk! He's been there since March and very much likes the guys that he works with and his manager is easy to get along with. He seem much happier and for that his wife is much grateful. So up to now he has been driving and dealing with "special drivers", who you would think living in Washington state would be used to driving in the rain, but become...what's the word...wacko when it rains. Why? I don't have the foggiest clue, but I'm going to look into that. So we've been spending more money in gas and he also has to pay for parking. Can I just stop here for a moment and go down a bunny trail? What...no? Too bad! So here are my thoughts on parking in Seattle, STUPID! Well this is after all MY blog. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, it's so incredibly expensive. It's like expecting the average middle to low income families to come up with money that Bill Gates has. Ummmm....I don't think so! I mean seriously, you can't get a mango out of a grape! But that aside, we've had no choice to do this and thus have given our money over to those rotten money suckers! Well we have decided to try out the transit system. Hahahaha! This is funny. Trust me. So Jeff's hours are 9-6 M-F and 8-5 on Saturdays. The great thing about Wa is that they have a great transit system. Trains, buses, light rail, it's great. Here's the bad part, remember I said that he works till 6pm? Well in reality that means he doesn't leave till 6:20-6:30. Ok keep that in mind. So I go online and figure out the craziness of the transit system and the best way for him would be to take the Sounder Commuter Train. Sweet right? Ya, not so much. The last train that leaves Seattle is 6:15pm. This means that he would have to leave work on time. Unrealistic. And then hope there is a bus that can get him to the station by 6:10. Ya, well that's basically impossible. So this means that he has to ride the bus home. Ok, not too bad, but it gets him home about 20 mins to 30 mins later. Not bad you think? That gets him to the Auburn station (city we live in) at 7:50pm. I'm wondering, will we ever have dinner together again? Probably not. Ok, that's fine, sacrifices make you a better person. I think. So the plan for the weekdays will be to take the commuter train in the mornings and buses home. Fine, we can do that. Then comes Saturday. No train available. Buses fine, but has to transfer a million times. Oh fine, not a million, but enough to make you go ugh! Sacrifices, sacrifices, sacrifices. Next step print out itinerary and go down to train station and buy Orca pass. So yesterday we went to the station and used the machine that you purchase the passes for the month on and spend A LOT of money that we will hope will last a month. Woo hoo! That big step is over. Next big step is Tuesday morning, first day of taking transit system. We leave early to get him to the station and I drop him off, I leave and am half way home when my cell rings. "The card doesn't work! It's for the month of June. I can't use it." PANIC. It's 7:40am and the train is coming at 7:45am. I tell him to go put money on the e-purse thingy and that should get us through till June. Phone rings. "NOPE! now it's saying that there are insufficient funds! I thought you said we had money?" Ok...so here's the thing, we just gave it all to the stinking transit station for the stupid pass that we can't use till June! We still had money in the bank though. Not much, but definitely enough for it to not say that. So I go into explanation to husband that yes we do have money I don't know why it's denying him. Well by then he said just turn around and come get me and I'm going to have to drive up there today. UGH! Sigh! Here's the thing that machine did NOT tell us, that it was only usable for the next month. Oye! Well that's helpful! So now we have to buy an e-purse for the rest of this month to get him through. Really? Like I have the money for that! This was supposed to be SAVING me money not sucking me dry. So our first day of the transit was a major bust! Oh you won today transit, but I'll be back! Tomorrow is a new day, hopefully it will be better. So that's where we are with Jeff's job and the transit system. On to the next.

A couple of weeks into Jeff's job a friend of mine from church was going to drive down to California for three weeks to visit family. She asked if I wanted to go with her and I said no, not really. But thanks for the offer. Then the day before she was leaving, I made the decision that I was going to go cause I was sick of being home alone by myself and staring at my walls and being lonely. So after some phone calls, I was on my way to California the next morning. I had decided to stay with my aunt in northern Cali for the three weeks and keep her company. I had a great time and was ready to come home by the end of the trip. I'm not usually spontaneous like that, I am a planner big time, so this was a huge step for me. I loved it!

Ok...new dog. So Jeff and I have been looking for a dog for a long time. The night I got home from Cali, my sister text messages me a picture of her and this tiny Chihuahua. Not being a big Chihuahua fan, I was like, ah that's cute where did you get her? She proceeded to tell me her boyfriends dog had puppies. She was totally cute and so I said, " Are there any left?" She told me no and she was sorry she didn't tell me before. Siblings! :D I told her that if there was anything that happened that someone backed out to please let me know. The next day she says, "Your not going to believe this but the people who were supposed to take two dogs backed out!" Oh man! I was so excited. I said, well send me a picture of the boy and I'll see if we like him. I'm all about the face. Well...let me just say this, cute should not be allowed to ever describe my dog, he is gorgeous!!! We said yes, of course, and I sent money out to get his shots done and buy a carrier for us to fly him out to us. There was some drama with the airlines but the bottom line is he is here and healthy and stubborn as ever! But that face...oh I tell you it is to cute to be mad at for long. Here's a picture or two for you to ooooo and aaaahhh over.

Ok so last but most certainly not least. Amway. "What" you say? Ya, I thought it was some old rusted out company too. So here was my introduction to Amway. As you know I went to Cali for a mini vaca and stayed with my aunt there. We got into a conversation on how the government rips you off during tax time, and I shared with her how I always owe because we don't have any deductions. She told me her woes and we sat and hated the government for a while. But then she said, "That's why I'm an Independent Business Owner with Amway now. It helps me to have things to claim so that way I don't owe. This year I got money back!" I sat there thinking, ya, well there's no way I'm getting sucked into the Amway thing. So we chatted about it for a while and that was that. Then her friend Doug came over, who by the way is a hoot, and got to talking about taxes yet again. Oh joy. LOL. So Amway was brought up again and by this time, I'm thinking what the heck, I need to just do this so that I can have something to claim so I can get money back! I'm sick of always paying! So Doug tells me he can get the guy to come and talk to me and see if it's something that would be beneficial to me. So here is something you have to know about me, I don't like to try to promote something if I don't fully believe in it. Makes it kinda hard. I have to love the product or company to do that. So I'm thinking, "Oh man, this guys gonna come and do his sales pitch and I'm gonna hate it!" So he gets there and to my sweet surprise...was very down to earth, wasn't trying to push me into doing anything and began his presentation at the kitchen table. So he's kinda going over what to expect as a IBO(independent business owner) and what kind of profit you can make and how that all depends on you personally so on and so on, and I'm sitting there flipping through one of the catalogs looking at prices, cause if you know me at all you would know that I'm a numbers person and I am serious about a budget and making sure we have enough to get us from one pay check to the next. So here comes a rabbit trail. I have to explain something to you. Due to my number issue, I calculate everything, it's really ridiculous. So I flip the page and see tissues. Your thinking, "Tissues? So what?" Well in my house we have allergies and we go through 8 boxes a month! So when I buy tissues I make sure I find the deals! But lets not confuse that with cheap tissues! EWWW! Nope I buy Puffs Plus with lotion. Ya I could by the really cheap ones...if I liked the feeling of sand paper on my face, but since I don't, then I go with what's next on the list. I used to by Kleenex but Puffs is comparable and is cheaper! :D Ok, so if you buy a pack of 4 boxes of Puffs plus from Wally World (That's Walmart for you richer people), then you can get them for the low price of around $5.00. Not bad. So this household pays about $10.00 a month just on tissues! I know stupid. Anyhow, lets just put this on a small scale. For the time frame of three months at $5 a pack of four boxes of tissues I would spend $30 a month and $1.25 per box. Not bad you say? So I look at the price of the tissues in the catalog and the ones I was looking at said they were comparable to Kleenex, sweet, and the price was $42.12! I was like who spends that much money on tissues! Then...yes, then, I saw that it was for 36 boxes! Oh my! That got the wheels turning. So let me work this out for you...If I spend $30 dollars for three months on 24 boxes of tissues at $1.25 per box, I'm dumb! No...just not educated properly. :D If I were to buy my tissues from Amway, I spend $42.12 for 36 boxes (that would get me four months instead of three), at $1.17 per box. Ok, I'm not a brainiac, but that's saving me A LOT of money! So this guy looks at me and says, "Is something wrong?" Which translates, you have a stupid dumb look on your face. This is where I chuckle and say, "no actually I was figuring out the difference in what I pay for tissues in a three month time frame and was calculating what the difference is if I were to get them through Amway. I'm saving a lot of money if I go with Amway! Wow!" That was the point in which he had a dumb look on his face. I explained him my calculations and he was like, "wow, you did that in your head?" I said, "Ya, that was that pained look I just had, I was calculating LOL." That was the point in which I said, "Sign me up!" And so now, I am an Amway Independent Business Owner and absolutely love ALL the products they have. I love that they sell everything that you normally by every month in grocery's, name brands and so so so so much more! It is truly amazing!

Well that was a lot I know, but I wanted to fill you in on every thing. I really need to get better about doing this more often so that these won't be so long, but I hope you truly enjoyed yourself and look forward to sharing more adventures with you soon! :D

Marisa

Sweet Miguel

So here's the story on Miguel. He is my very good friends very cute son. I am, only by Jesus, his Auntie Risa. And I just love when he calls me that. So Miguels story goes a bit like this. He was born in August of 2006. He was born with one kidney that was not functioning so they quickly removed it. Major surgery at such a young age. So sad. Anyway, so he had his kidney removed. So life continues on for a while and his mommy (Lindsey) is noticing that he is not eating well. So as any mom would she consults the professionals and they just tell her, "well you just need to make him eat." Yeah, okay, let me just tell my infant son, "son, EAT!" I think that will be so effective. NOT! So time passes and he is still not eating. As a matter of fact he is beginning to lose weight. Poor little man. So again, as any mom would she consults some different professionals. This time scoring a good one, who tells her that her son has a very high food aversion. Okay. So let me just say this, coming from an overweight person...I wish I had that problem!!! Well so not the case for a child who should be growing. One who should be getting his chub on! Let me just share a bit of what a food aversion is. For Miguel it is very complicated. Not only does he struggle with the texture and taste of food, but even the site and feel and look of food will cause him to heave as though he is going to vomit. Yes, even the sight of food will do that to him. So many people just say, "oh he's just being picky." So not the case for this sweet man. It is so much more complicated. So for a long while they tried to figure out what would be the best solution for Miguel so that he would gain weight and be a healthy strong boy. So last year in October, they had a G-tube put in. This is a tube that goes straight into his stomach so that she (Lindsey) can attach a feeding tube to it and feed him through that. This is so that he is getting the nutrients that he needs to grow. This required another surgery to place the tube in. Now at the age of two and a half, what do you think a child would do when encountering a tube sticking out of your stomach? PULL IT!! Well, let me just say from experience, when he pulls that hard enough, the tube comes out leaving an open hole which then allows whatever is in his stomach to come rushing out! Oh ya, just as you are picturing that, your right, AHHHH!!! That's about what goes on in your head at that precise moment. So try telling a two year old to hold still long enough for you to empty the balloon, stick the tube back through the hole in his stomach then fill the balloon back up so as to keep it in. Yeah, not so much. So as they thrash around and cry, it creates the stomach muscles to tighten, which in turn keeps you from being allowed to put the tube back in. And if you are unsuccessful, you have to fly over to the ER so that they can do it before the hole closes up as to not have to go through a horrid process of stretching the hole or having another surgery to fix it. Yeah! Crazy right!? I'm happy to say that this has not happened much and that we were able to get it back in. And that was just the time that I was there to help. Lindsey has had to do this on her own before, right after the procedure was done resulting in an ER visit! Scary! So anyway, with all this, this sweet little man has such an amazing personality despite all the stuff he has to go through. I have the privilege of taking him and his mommy to all his appointments every week and watching him learn and grow though all his OT and feeding classes (teaching him food is okay). I've even been able to build relationships with all his doctors, dietitians, and therapy ladies, which helps me to be a better auntie to him. Learning him and what he deals with is a blessing to me. I love him more than you know, and get so excited when he gains ounces. Just yesterday was a weigh in. And he gained!! That is a huge accomplishment! He now weighs 22lbs 2.1 (or so) ounces! Of course he doesn't look as big as an average size 30 month old. But that does not mean he doesn't act like one! He is so precious. Most people see those cheeks and just go crazy over him. I know I do. Him and his mommy are very much a part of my life, and I plan on keeping it that way! You will hear me talk about him a lot so I figured I would give you the low down on this sweet boy so that you might better understand where he's come from since the day of his birth. He has gone through, and still does, more than most of us adults have in our life time. So this is the story of Miguel, and I hope that you will be praying for him as he continues to grow and accomplish the tasks set before him with great strength. Here are some pictures so that you can put a face to a name. :D

This was at the hospital just yesterday while we ate lunch in between appointments.

This is him and his uncle Jeff sitting and watching a movie. They love their time together.

Yesterday we had a chiropractor appointment and he was sound asleep in my arms and when I laid him down for his adjustment, he stayed sound asleep and I just couldn't resist the picture. It was so funny and so incredibly sweet! I totally have these days! LOL

One Heck of a Week!

So as I've promised I would see you next month, here we are on the third day of the next month! Happy February everyone! Mine has started out, how can I say this, a bit challenging. As you'll recall in a previous blog I talked about Jeff starting a job with a new dealership that was just a blessing. That was back in Aug. of last year. He has since been there and it has been one trial after another with this company. Not at all what we had expected. How awesome is that!? Just a couple of weeks ago, his boss quit due to the GM and the owner telling him either he could fire one of the parts guys (either my Jeff or the other one) or they would cut his pay 40%! Hmmm....decision time. He choose to quit. Well...alrighty then! So we were totally praising God for allowing Jeff to continue having a job. Whew. Scary right? Well Monday rolls around and Jeff calls me in the morning to inform me that the GM brought him and the other Jeff into his office and proceeded to cut both of their pays buy a couple thousand a month! And that they are not going to be hourly but salary from now on. SO...he will be working M-F and every other Sat. 9 to 10 hours a day! Getting paid half as much and on salary!!! Can you say, WHAT!!!???? Ya, that's what I said! So after I put out the fire in my mouth, I calmly told him that we would figure it out and just pray that we would trust that God has a plan in all this mess. Okay, let me just say this, money does NOT fall from trees! I've checked! And I live in Washington! Do you know how many trees we have up here!? OYE! So as bad as this is, we are going to just trust that God will provide. And I'm really hoping that he provides with a healthy and strong, full grown money tree! :D

Okay, so as if that news wasn't tough to deal with, the next day I'm busy about my house doing absolutely nothing, and the phone rings. So let me just back up a minute here. While going through this foster to adopt program, I was told that I had to have a land line so that the foster children had access to a phone in case of an emergency. No comment. So it's been a while since we started this process and being that I am getting older and do become forgetful...I decided to get rid of our cable and land line to save us some money a month. I did this in December. So...about three days after I call our company to do so, I'm in the shower; sorry that's a horrible vision. So...about three days after I call our company to do so, I'm getting ready to go somewhere; ya that's better, and it strikes me that crap, I have to have land line for the foster care! Dang it!! Seriously! Now not only do I have to get all my phone stuff back out of the closet I have to call the company back and look like an old geezer and have them turn my phone back on, get a new phone number, one in which I will not remember, and find a time to be here so they can re due the modem. Oh my Lord, are you kidding me! Okay, so fine, it wasn't that bad. Done. It didn't take to long and it's been back on for a couple weeks, although it rings ALL THE TIME! Who ever had this number before us had a lot of debt, cause all their debtors are calling me!! Like I'm going to pay there bills! I can't even pay my own for crying out loud! So, Monday we get told that just when you thought you couldn't pay your bills, now you can't afford to have a roof over your head let alone that stupid phone! Okay, enough about the phone. So Tuesday, the day after we find out about Jeff's job, I'm mulling about and the phone rings. It's YFC (organization for foster care). We've been waiting to get a call back as to what the state was going to decided as far as Jeff's record was concerned. So the lady proceeds to tell me that the state is NOT going to accept this because there apparently is still one charge that they did not remove and shows as a permanent crime. Well...how nice!!! So not only are we poor, but we can't even have kids!!! I'm just wondering, is this a big fat ugly dream? So I hang up with her just to have Jeff walk in from work fifteen minutes later and have to tell him. Bless his heart, he was so upset at himself for 17 years ago and the choices he made. I absolutely do not blame him for any of this. I had told him before that no matter what the decision was going to be that it would be that of the Lords. Now, when the decision comes back and just so happens to be not what you want, it is so hard to stay calm and remember what you had said previously. So after some time of talking through it and breaking down, I am feeling a bit better. I'm so sad at this ending, and ask that you keep me lifted in prayer as having children has been such a desire for me since I was very young. We're going on seven and a half years of trying naturally and it's not happening, and then going for the foster/adopt, and for that to fall through has made me a bit sensitive and a bit angry and very very sad. It's so easy for people to say, "In God's timing," "It'll happen," or "Oh don't worry, when the time is right, you'll know." And not that those things are not true, when you have not been in my shoes for this long you cannot imagine how that feels. So I just ask that you would hold us high in God and pray for us to keep focused on His plans for us.

So on a lighter note, pray for the representative who has to take my call to once again cancel my land line for the second time. I find that so funny! On, off, on, off! Poor people. I'm so glad they can't see my face, so that if I were to ever go to the store and see them I'm sure that I would find a knife in my back.

Well I pray your February has been much better than mine and Jeff's and I will continue to keep you updated on our very exciting life! :D

A Life of Change

So admitting that it's been a while since I last wrote would be an understatement! For that I am sorry. Not for you, but for me. Writing does give me such a sense of release, an ability to shut the sounds of the world around me out. The funny thing is, that as I write, all I hear is the sound of a motor cycle idling out side of my house. That or I'm really hungry...nope it was a motor cycle. I've always wanted to buy a motor cycle for myself, and just go for a joy ride, letting the wind whip through my thinning hair and feeling the weight of the bike scare me half to death wondering if I have enough strength to hold the beast roaring under my bum up long enough to get to the end of the road. But, well that's never going to happen, I can't afford milk anymore for the prices are so high let alone a fabulous Harley Davidson! OH how I wish! I suppose it's a blessing to have a father and step-mother who own one...I'll just have to steal a ride with them. Letting them be the ones in control of the monster. One day, one day.

So I suppose that I should allow myself the privilege to back track for a while to catch you all up on what has been taking place in mine and my husbands life. As you are fully aware of us going through with the foster to adopt program with a very great and gracious Christian organization, I hate to admit that we are STILL going through the process. We have had to jump through some hoops for the state, and we are still doing that at the present time. No wonder my legs hurt! OK well maybe that's the Wii kicking in. Anyway, due to a situation that my husband had himself in when he was young and impressionable, weren't we all, we have had to really try hard for the state to accept us and our application. As crazy as it sounds, yes, my sweet, very quiet and to himself husband was not only young once, but impressionable. :) That's why I love him. He is truly like a box of raisins, you never know what kind of shriveled grape he will be one day from the next. Oh, and to know he was a bit of a rebel just makes it even better! Let me guess, your wondering to yourself, "Jeff, he's NOT perfect?!" Well NO! Of course not! Silly...if he was I can assure you he would NOT be married to me. Haha. Although the matter is not one to laugh at, we can now, through the saving blood of Jesus, chuckle about how stupid we were when we were younger. So that is where we are at with that, and I do promise that I will continue to update as we know anything from the state whether or not they are going to pull their heads out and accept us or choose to stay buried in their pot and deny us yet again. We'll see wont we?

As I mentioned earlier about the Wii. Here's what I have to say about that machine. Why on earth do I willingly wake myself up at 5:30am every morning just to make myself sweat? I'm beginning to wonder who've I've become, that at that ungodly time of the morning that I am looking forward to "feeling the burn" and can I just say, I feel the burn much more than the average human does. Why you ask? Well that's due to the state of health I'm in. Ya, even at thirty, my health sucks! But that's for another paragraph. So there I am sweating, feeling the burn at 5:30 in the morning and excited about it! What has this world come to!? Maybe I should go back to the doc and see if there is something mental going on. Well the truth is that I suppose its a good thing that I do this so that I will be healthy for my kids that one day I WILL have! Plus, then when I'm getting ready to get in the shower maybe I won't feel like I'm having a heart attack at the site of myself in the mirror everyday! That's always a plus. The major bummer is that this week I have not been able to exercise due to an injured foot. Although every morning I have still gotten up at 5:30am!!!! Are you kidding me!? Seriously, what IS wrong with me! The normal human would say to themselves, "self, go back to sleep for a few more hours and stop torturing me." Nope that's not what myself says to itself! "Go ahead Marisa, get up, feel like a loser cause you can't work out, sit on the couch and feel sorry for yourself, then be tired for the rest of the day!" I think I should just strangle myself for telling myself that! Although what good would that do for me, then I wouldn't be able to fit into those skinny jeans that are so patiently waiting for me. HA! Ya, you really think I have a pair of skinny jeans hanging in my closet! You don't know me very well. I'm not like all the other women out there who say to them selves, "oh I'll fit into those some day" and keep them hanging there till the moths eat them from one thread to the next. No I keep fatter clothes in there, so that when I get sick of exercising then I can eat again and know that I have clothes that will fit me when I'm done moping around. Nah, I'm kidding I don't do that. The funny thing is that the other day I was cleaning out my closet and saw these really cute jean capri's and thought to myself, "self, those are like brand new, why would you toss those, your doing all this exercise and eating really well, you'll fit into them sooner or later." (Even though it might be later than sooner). So I kept them. So I guess I am like the normal women. Oh thank God!! So working out on the Wii (biggest loser style I'll have you know, that Bob telling me every morning how awesome I am), and eating well has made me a bit more spunky. :D Nope I suppose that's still just me, but I do feel better.

I've learned that I can not have dairy or MSG due to my FMS (Fibromyagia syndrome). Apparently that "burn" we all feel when we work out is caused by the lactic acid in our bodies. Well someone with FMS already has an over abundance of that in our system so when we consume dairy and MSG (which contains lactic acid) it makes our "burn" feel ten hundred times worse! I like to explain it like this...when I'm having a bad "body" day (that's code for my body hurts like hell!!!), it's as though I have venom burning through my entire body all at the same time, trying to torch the crud out of my insides, which in turn makes my outside feel like I've had a bath in acid. Yup, that's pretty much what it feels like. What a pain in the butt! Haha, literally! So I've been dairy and MSG free for two weeks and counting now. And I can tell you this, I don't have as many bad days. But it is taking a lot of will power and trust in God to see myself through. I'm happy to oblige, since feeling like your body is being torched by a flame thrower isn't really all that pleasant.

So that's my exciting story thus far. Not much else to report. Which I suppose is a good thing. We're still trucking along, just as the Lord would have us, and we're looking forward to see what's around the corner for us. We're nearly into the second month of the new year and I feel as though I need to start my Christmas shopping already. UGH! The years seem to go by so quickly, it sure is a good thing we aren't getting any older. By golly, I'd be like 31 and Jeff like 41! Ewww.... :D

So until next time my friends and family, may you have a blessed rest of your January and I'll look forward to talking with you next month!!!

Foster Children

So I know it's been a LONG time since I've written anything, and much has happened in my life. But I will call this blog "Foster Children." Why? Well because my husband and I have decided to do foster care with the option to adopt! Wow I love the way that sounds!! I am so stinking excited I think my heart may explode. We have the room set up already and I stare at it everyday hoping the child will appear before my eyes. :) If only it was that easy. Right? Well I suppose we only have about four or five more months to go and then wham, our lives will be transformed! But truly we are very excited to have the opportunity to love on children for however long the Lord allows and show them that they can live a life that is pleasing to God. So as we go through this process, I will try to keep everyone updated and aware of what's going on. Please be in prayer for us, as we WILL need it. So until next time....